Honesty

There is something to be said for those individuals who posses this quality. I have found that genuine honesty is seriously lacking in our society.

Honesty cannot be bought, sold or traded. Honesty is not something that comes and goes on a whim. Honesty is not something you claim possession of once you have been “caught”. Honesty is not something that is taken as a case by case basis.

Honesty is something that is part of your deep-rooted being... your soul. You are either an honest person, or you are not.

I believe it is the responsibility of our parents or guardians to instill in us, when young, the importance of being honest. I believe that parents not only teach by words but, even stronger, by example. I believe, firmly, that actions speak volumes over words. However, once we grow up, it is our responsibility to decide what type of person we want to become.

Recently, a man I was in a relationship with was telling me the wise words of his father, “Don’t get caught”. This should have been an enormous red flag, however, I just laughed and said I thought that was terrible. Fast-forward a couple of weeks and I find that this said man had not been honest with me. Coincidence? I think not.

Suddenly, he is bestowing upon me his words of how important honesty is for building a relationship. Suddenly, he is bestowing upon me gifts and attention. All I can think of is that if I did not catch him in this dishonesty, he would have gotten away with his little fabricated life, scott-free. This, to me, is very sad.

He told me he will be patient with me while I decide what I want to do and he wants us to work this out as a couple. Excuse me... we didn’t get here as a couple. I had no choice. Your untruths were thrust upon me. There are many things I will accept and work through. Deceit is not one of those things.

One of my favorite memories of my oldest son is when I went to pick him up from after-school care when he was about 6. I walked up the stairs and was greeted by a hysterical mother who began telling me how my son cut her son’s hair and how very upset she was. I was shocked to hear this, but could not understand, as this was so uncharacteristic for my son. Her son insisted to her that it was my son who committed this terrible deed. She was infuriated. I was not. I walked, calmly, over to my son and asked him if he cut this other boy’s hair. He responded a simply, “No”. I turned to this woman and told her that my son said he didn’t do it and that my son never lies to me. One of the counselors walked over to see what was going on. When she heard the story, she immediately said that she had witnessed this boy cutting his own hair. He was afraid he would get into trouble, so he decided to blame it on my son. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. I will never forget how incredible it felt to tell her, so matter-of-factly, that my son did not lie to me.

I tell cashiers if they give me too much change. I tell them if they forget to charge me for something. There are times when I would like to fail to mention when I make mistakes at work, but I cannot. Omission of the truth is still dishonesty. Honesty and integrity are so very important and cannot be rebuilt with ease. They are that traits no one can take from you. They are your own. Once the foundation of trust is damaged, it’s like trying to build a house on quicksand.

So, here’s what I think... tell the truth! It is better to be embarrassed, afraid.. anything... rather than breaking someone’s trust - especially the person you claim to love and care about more than anything else in the world. But, more importantly, I know that I have to look myself in the eye every time I look in the mirror. It is up to me to decide what type of person I want to see staring back at me.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
~ John 8:32

Peace and love,
Krissy