Just being me...

Being that my divorce will be final this week, I have begun to test the tumultuous waters of dating… ever so gently, with the very tip-tops of my toes.

It is an interesting experience, because for the past 11 months, I have said that I do not want another serious relationship. I like being able to do whatever I want without asking permission. But even more than that, I am enjoying just being. Being peaceful, being happy, and just simply being me.

I have spent time with myself, exploring the depths of my soul - praying, meditating and just hanging out with me. I have come to know who I am and to value my uniqueness and my character. I am an amazing woman. I am strong and confident, independent and charismatic. I am kind, caring and generous. I can and have overcome pretty much anything and everything that has been thrown at me - with grace and dignity - and a really good sense of humor.

Recently, my best and dearest friend found new love and she is beyond happy. I am so thrilled for her - because I love her and always want her to be happy. She told me one evening, out of the sweetness that is her heart, that she wants me to have what she has because she has never felt this before and she wants me to be just as happy. And, while it is beautiful for her… I do have a few words regarding the perceived lack of love in my life.

I do not feel as though I am lacking anything right now. I really like where I am on my journey. I love the person I have become. I have truly learned so much about myself throughout my life, but so much so in the past couple of years, and am so at peace with what I have experienced and overcome (and believe me I have overcome quite a bit). I am continuing to learn and grow and experience new things. Every day is another precious step on this path that is my life. Sometimes the steps are steep and winding and seemingly up-hill and other times they are smooth and gentle. I have learned to appreciate every single step - especially the steep ones. (I have found that you learn more from those ones).

It is amazing, because I have met so many people recently who tell me that I have such a peaceful energy… very positive and that it radiates from within me and that they can actually feel the energy. I cannot describe how it makes me feel to hear these words, because THAT is exactly how I feel at this moment in my life; Peaceful, calm, and content.

So... allow me to meander back to the relationship issue. Yes. I would, someday, like very much to find that special someone who I know is looking for me. I would love to have the companionship… the warmth... the passion. I have no doubt that I will find this person at some point. The beautiful thing is that I know there is no time limit on finding this person, because I believe that we will find each other when the timing is right.

So, as I dip my toes into the water… ever so gently, swirling them around a bit, enjoying the cool sensation around each toe, I am at peace knowing that I do not have to jump into the water unless it is what I want. I can wiggle my toes for as long as I desire. And then, when I am comfortable I can, perhaps, put in my whole foot... slowly - enjoying each moment, gradually, and with great care. And look, just like that the water is now calm, peaceful, and gentle. Isn't life beautiful?!

Peace and Love,
Krissy